It’s been a long journey for Necropolis. And for me.

The first four thousand words of the adventures of Rip Eulogy, necromancer-for-hire, have been copied and pasted and saved too many times to track the timecode. I worry that if I ever found the original file, it would be in WordPerfect 5.1 format. Yeah, as old as that.

Or maybe not quite. I don’t really remember. But let’s say the origin of the story dates back at least a decade, when I started writing some fun, crazy material for the hell of it. And just as I thought I was really onto something, I got stuck. It was my typical modus operandi. A lot of crackling banter and thrilling moments, but I didn’t know what the story was yet. I didn’t know where all these intriguing pieces fit into the puzzle. I didn’t even know what puzzle I was working on.

So it got shelved. For years.

Four years ago, I started over. I didn’t throw away the original material, although none of it appears in the final novel. My epiphany was that what I had started to write occurred much farther down the plotline of a series. Book three or four maybe.

Moving forward, the only thing I kept was a vague plot idea about Rip being hired to use his talents to bring justice to a long-dead war criminal. It was a starting point. That, plus my extensive research on the art of performance regurgitation—because that’s my idea of recreational reading.

No, it shouldn’t take four years to write a novel. But then, this was the single longest and most complex project I’d ever tackled. It made Longshot Comics look like a trifle. It made that four-hour TV miniseries look like a single short evening of binge watching. Mapping it all out on a piece of paper looked like pages of physics equations. Then, of course, there was my misguided attempt to approach the legacy-publishing biz before I came to realize how much the industry had changed when I wasn’t looking.

There were publishers who didn’t want to look at any manuscript over 120,000 words. Publishers who were in the process of going bankrupt and stiffing the authors they already had. Publishers who still wanted authors to send them a printed-out physical copy in the 21st century (overseas no less). Publishers who took 16 months to respond to an initial pitch.

Incidentally, when it takes you 16 months to get back to me with a “Yeah, sure, send us the whole manuscript, we’d love to take a look,” my response is, “No. That ship has sailed.” It sailed, hit a rock, and sank. The survivors were plucked out of the sea, put on another boat to their destination, and have been ashore for over a year now. They’ve received counselling for post-traumatic stress and have gotten on with their lives. Some have even had enough time to get over their fear of the water. That’s how much can happen 16 months.

So yeah, when I say I started writing the novel in earnest four years ago, it’s actually been finished for nearly two. The rest of the time has been spent editing, proofreading, and getting jerked off by agents and publishers who don’t understand that the industry is changing all around them, and that their role in it is getting killed off—largely by their own hand. It was also time spent learning the ropes of the new independent press that has arisen through outlets like Amazon. Over the last year and a bit, I published all this stuff, largely as a dry run for Necropolis.

I’ll evangelize the independent press again at a later date. And share more stories about publishing woes and my distaste for unprofessionalism at all levels of the industry. Right now, though, it’s time to reveal the cover.

Covers are a gamble. You know the old saying: you can’t judge a book by its cover. Absolutely true. But you can sell a book by its cover. You can also NOT sell a book by its cover.

I’ve looked at a lot of urban-fantasy/supernatural-suspense/mystery-horror covers in my market research. I’ve seen what sells. And I can honestly say, I don’t really care for them. It’s hard to argue with sales figures, but I’ve long been an opinionated elitist when it comes to things like book covers and movie posters. And I’ve had a lot of viciously critical things to say about some of the marketing trends I’ve seen and come to loathe.

Floating-head DVD covers were the bane of my movie-collecting days. Badly Photoshopped heads of celebrity stars pasted over elements of the original theatrical poster was the norm for years. It wasn’t about aesthetics, it was about telling consumers, “Look who’s in this one!” Awful, awful stuff. At the other end of the spectrum, I was always a fan of the Criterion Edition covers. Yeah, the artsy fartsy ones. They were probably all terrible from a marketing point of view, but they had mood and atmosphere. Rather than being too literal about the content of a film, they suggested tone, and I found that much more personally appealing.

These days it’s all about the orange/cyan colour-contrast posters and covers. Every second movie resorts to this supposedly appealing colour scheme to help sell their movie, and it’s bled into book covers as well. This trend, too, shall pass. Eventually everyone will see it for the painful cliché it is, and it will become repellent rather than attractive. In time, it will go away, and when people see one of those orange/cyan one-sheets, they’re not going to subconsciously think, “Oh, how appealing.” They’re going to consciously think, “Oh, how dated.”

So after a lot of thought and image searches and one major redesign, this is what I came up with.

It’s sombre, it’s moody, it hints at content and themes, but doesn’t depict anything that literally takes place in the book.

I like it, I’m going with it, and I know I may well be shooting myself in the foot. Current marketing tropes suggest I should be going in a very different direction. But I wrote a book that I would like to read, so I figure I should slap on a cover that would draw my eye.

It’s a gamble. It always is. The stakes are high on this one. Necropolis stands on its own as a self-contained story, but I’m over 60,000 words into the sequel. It’s a lot of commitment to something I don’t know will fly with readers. The first handful of reactions have been stellar. We’ll see if that carries through.

Necropolis will be available for Kindle next week. It will debut at a painfully (for me at least) low price of $0.99 to help it scale that all-important algorithm ladder and tie in with various promotions. It’s a whole lotta book for a buck, and a whole lotta performance anxiety for me. This is the seventh time I’ll be hitting the “publish” button on Amazon, and it’s going to be the hardest one to let go of.

I’m nervous.

♦

On a side note: The cover reveal is old news for subscribers to the Eyestrain Productions newsletter. If you want first-looks, exclusives, special deals, and the occasional free book, sign up now.

From today until Friday, there’s another multi-author cross promotion going on for mystery, crime and suspense novels. Sex Tape is one of the books selling at a reduced price (this time in U.S. and U.K. markets only). I wanted to hit this promotional period a little harder than usual, so I’ve begun delving into Amazon advertising. It’s an interesting system, filled with niggly numbers and fine tuning and keyword bids, that appeals to the same economic-gaming centres of my brain that make me want to play work-management videogames over first-person shoot-and-frags.

I was all keyed up to give it a go, submitting a carefully constructed campaign for Sex Tape, only to be rejected a few hours later. Why did Amazon turn me down? Why didn’t they want to take my money?

Because the Sex Tape cover is too damn sexy for them.

Their terms of service for advertising are hilariously puritanical, and their limits on what you can have on your covers and in your blurbs are a touch narrow.

Scantily clad women are possibly okay, provided they aren’t striking a pose that’s too suggestive. Bikinis might be a go, but lingerie means someone is gearing up to get laid, so nix on that. And don’t you dare have a couple canoodiling. Embracing is one thing, but if they seem too into it, that crosses the invisible line. Even if they’re fully clothed. You never know, they might be dry humping.

And it doesn’t stop at sexual suggestion. You have to walk a fine line with violence as well. Guns can appear on your cover, though they should preferably be stylized or of the sci-fi/fantasy variety. Don’t ever show a character pointing one at another character, even though that’s kind of what they’re made for. And never ever have a character pointing a gun straight at the viewer. Because that might traumatize or frighten off potential consumers. No one wants to feel threatened by a book cover. I once walked into a public library and saw a James Bond novel with a cover like that. I had to run away and call the police after giving the book my wallet.

Okay, that covers sex and violence. We’re done right? Nope. Here’s my favourite quote from the terms-of-service page:

“Please ensure that the headline and custom text does not present customers with emotionally draining or depressing messages.”

I don’t know about you, but I find that caveat emotionally draining and depressing.

I get it. I really do. If you’re selling the world tons of shit, you want them feeling up up up! You don’t want to bring the consumerist-frenzy mood down. Buyers might get sad and lose the will to type in their credit-card number. But what people find depressing is pretty broad. Who can even define that?

If I want to see a load of personally depressing images and blurbs on Amazon, all I have to do is type in search terms like “American politics,” or “boy bands,” or “Kardashians.” That’s all it takes.

Then I’m off to find a book cover that looks poised to shoot me in the face and end my misery.

Prizes include a new Kindle Fire. Go forth and CONSUME! And keep the mood light and happy and not emotionally draining, even as you read all these stories about crime and murder.

Yet again…

Sex Tape is part of a multi-author promotion. I figure most people reading this will have long-since grabbed a copy from past promos, so I mostly mention it to support other authors on the list. Check out the link and see if there’s a mystery or thriller that entices you. This weekend, they’re all only a buck. (NB: Amazon U.K. has the right sale price for Sex Tape, Amazon U.S. continues to lag as of this writing).

From the archives:

A page of notes from a conference I attended years ago—back when Sex Tape was a Telefilm Canada-backed project and I was trying to come up with a logline. The doodles may give you some indication of how much I was enjoying the conference.

Early Sex Tape material, still recognizable in the final product, though some lines were rewritten.

♦

Also of note, in Sherlockian Land…

Japanese reprints of The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories are pending as those volumes continue to make the global rounds. TV shows I’ve written for have been translated into dozens of languages, but this marks my first print foray into Japanese. I may well never see a physical copy of it in my hands (much like the edition from India), but it’s nice to know it’s out there.

Meanwhile, Part VI is available for pre-order. My story, “The Adventure of the Cat’s Claws” figures prominently in what promises to be the biggest collection yet.

That’s enough news for now, but I’ll tease you with one final thing—one particular piece of news the majority of people who come here have been waiting for. A certain comic book series of a particular minimalist style may be returning shortly. For real this time. Considering my name is now on a contract and payment is on the way, I’d better follow through.

More soon. Just let me publish Necropolis first.

I’ve made a number of references to my upcoming urban fantasy/supernatural suspense novel Necropolis, but have offered few details. That’s probably because this is the single largest project I’ve ever undertaken, and it’s only the first part of a new series that will keep me occupied for years to come. It’s hard to summarize all I’ve poured into it, and everything it’s about—especially without giving away spoilers.

I can only hope it’s enough to say: if you’ve ever given a shit about my work, this is the big one.

A five-chapter preview will be posted for newsletter subscribers starting tomorrow, and free advanced review copies will shortly be made available to any of those subscribers who express interest in reading the rest before everyone else…and, of course, leaving a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads on or about release day. That’s the important bit. Not only do reviews raise the profile of any book in algorithm land, they also open up additional promotional options with websites that have minimum-review requirements.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say and announce in the coming weeks. Right now, I’m operating on about two hours of sleep, I’ve been up and working since 1:00 am, and I still have a long workday ahead of me. It’s probably not the best frame of mind to be in when trying to pitch a novel that’s been years in the making. I’ll try to do better once I’m over this current editing/designing/promotion hump.

In the meantime, if you’re at all intrigued, Necropolis, the epic horror/mystery/fantasy/comedy, will finally be published next month—while the thirty-thousand-word preview is only hours away. If you want in, become a newsletter subscriber, and receive an exclusive bounty of bells and whistles and free stuff*.

*Bells and whistles sold separately.

There’s less than a week to go before the final nominees for the Bram Stoker Awards are announced and I find out if “Raw”—currently on the preliminary ballot—made the final cut. And also whether I’m going to have to drag my ass out to Los Angeles for the first time in years to attend the ceremony.

The Table of Contents for Raw and Other Stories can be viewed in the Amazon preview page, but I thought I’d go over the twenty stories in more detail here—and include links to where you can read some of them for free right now.

Wrangler

The closest I’ve come to writing a genuinely cozy crime story, I was fond enough of this tale to start off the entire collection with it. Fond enough, in fact, to withdraw it from submission somewhere else in order to include it here. Pity it didn’t get more of a kick at the can in the open market. I’m sure I might have placed it in some anthology, but one high-profile magazine decided to sit on it for an insane 341 days before getting back to me. Fresh off the keyboard and lost in limbo for nearly a year, it got pressed into service here to bookend the collection between something fairly light, and the extreme darkness of the titular story. If you click on the “Look inside” feature on the store page, you’ll get enough of a preview of the book to be able to read the entire thing.

Heads Will Roll

Based on a real girl who actually did this job for a university one summer, this story was first printed in Betty Fedora Issue Two. Being the lead, you can again check out the “Look inside” feature on the page to get a preview—but you’ll get cut short about halfway through.

Bayonet Baby

Originally slated for the Weird War anthology, it became homeless once that book was cancelled without notice at the 11th hour. A satire about war propaganda, it was hard to place again, but eventually found a home in Illuminati at My Door, where it was expanded by about 300 words.

The Last Seven Miles and Home

A quick little horror/crime jaunt I came up with for the Bumps in the Road anthology, it was chosen to lead off the book. Yet again, the “Look inside” on the Amazon page will give you a look-see—enough to read the whole thing. At this point, with so many free previews, you might be wondering why you would even bother by buy my collection at all. Hint: it’s only a buck right now.

It’s the Thought That Counts

This is one of my all-time favourites. Cruel, funny, and dark. It came close to selling a number of times, and then spent a year earmarked to appear in an anthology alongside such luminaries as Margaret Atwood. Yes, Margaret Fucking Atwood. And then the whole book got cancelled for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery. It was time to give up and include it in this collection because readers who follow my work should really have access to this one.

Just One of the Lads

One of the oldest stories in the book, this dates back to a time when I was finding my legs as a writer, before the film business swept me off my feet and plugged me into the screenwriting mill for twenty years. There’s a number of pieces I wrote back then that will never see the light of day. Most, like this one, were never even submitted anywhere, but made the cut as one of the few oldies worth collecting.

Black Ink

A piece of flash fiction I quite enjoy. This one was too dark for some of my usual outlets, but Out of the Gutter Online snatched it up immediately once they had a look. It can still be read on their site. I got the idea while I was sitting in a Toronto production company, waiting to have a meeting about yet another kiddie cartoon. They had a number of books in the waiting area lying on the coffee table, including a rare edition about Russian Mafia tattoos. It was a weird thing to find in a place that worked exclusively in children’s animation.

Anatomy of a Riot

I wrote this one for a very specifically themed anthology. It was perfect for them, exactly what they were looking for. And then they turned it down. I was left with a strange, morbid, docudrama period-piece that was an unlikely fit anywhere else. Indeed, my sporadic attempts to place it elsewhere proved futile, but I remain pleased enough with the results to include it here.

Hot Pennies

Another one of my favourites, it took me years to finally finish it, followed by more years of shopping it around. It became my all-time most rejected story, to the point that it became a running joke. Odd, because it’s among my very best short stories, provided your sensibilities are really troublingly dark. Last year, largely as a lark, I published it as a standalone story to take advantage of a Halloween-themed promotion. It immediately became my most downloaded and highest rated book to date.

Table d’hôte

The first of three pieces of criminal flash fiction I published with Shotgun Honey, you can still read it on their site.

One Last Time

“Foul” is how one friend recently describe this story. Then he went on to tell me how he delighted in relaying its odious contents to his wife. This is another oldie I sat on for many years without submitting anywhere. My initial readers were so appalled a quarter of a century ago, I decided to bury it. I only dug it out of mothballs last year when I placed it with Morpheus Tales for their Taboo Special Issue. Now it has returned to sicken and horrify again.

The Spare

Piece number two with Shotgun Honey remains on their site. This bit of polite violence is possibly my favourite of the flashes.

Choke the Chicken

Originally appearing in New Canadian Noir, I later published this as a standalone once the rights reverted to me. Call it a director’s cut of the story. Like “Hot Pennies” before it, this one also has some basis in my happy but sinister childhood memories.

The Appeal

This short piece hints at a larger story, then purposely refuses to give it to you. I considered it a thematic choice, but it frustrated editors. It will probably irritate you too.

Meridian Response

This one barely got sent out before I stuck it in here. It’s an extreme (but consensual) piece of horror about ASMR culture, and I didn’t feel like waiting around for the next rare anthology into this sort of material to crop up.

Young Turks and Old Wives

From Locked and Loaded: Both Barrels Vol. 3 comes this crime story within a crime story. One reviewer called it “Hitchcockian,” but Hitchcock tended to make stories about a better class of criminal than these scumbags.

It’s All on You

Recently published by Out of the Gutter Online, it came out within 24 hours of the collection.

Underwriter

Likely the most autobiographical story I’ll ever write, it’s still a grotesque distortion of real life. It might give you some idea of what it’s like working in the screenwriting trenches. This isn’t a transcript of any meetings I’ve ever had, but some have come damn close.

The Wash

Another recent crime story. Reading it back-to-back with the climactic tale, you’ll see some hints that many of these stories may be taking place in some shared criminal universe. This will come up again in future work.

Raw

And finally, the biggest bad boy of the group. Originally appearing in Silent Screams, now in line for a Bram Stoker Award nomination, this is a crime story that crosses the line into horror, and then likely crosses another line into what’s often labelled “extreme horror”—whatever that means. Uncompromising, no-shit horror, I guess. It remains the only story I’ve ever written with material disturbing enough that my wife had to skip parts when she was proofreading it. I had to point to a spot on the printed page where it would be safe to resume, but really, it only gets nastier.

Raw and Other Stories remains priced at $0.99 until the nominations, and can also be borrowed and read for free by Kindle Unlimited subscribers.

♦

After a brief intermission being a pay book, Filmography has dropped down to freebie status again for the second promotion of the week. I expect most people reading this have long-since grabbed their own copy, but check out the rest of the Mystery and Thriller Book Promotion for more genre eBooks that are free this weekend.

With the Bram Stoker Awards pending, and “Raw” on the preliminary ballot for a long-fiction nomination, I decided it was time to put out a collection of stories for people who might be interested in checking out the titular horror/crime opus, in addition to a pile of other material I’ve accumulated. Some of it has seen print in recent anthologies, some of it is making its first appearance here (often after being scheduled for publication, only to have an unexpected book cancellation pull the rug out from under it, leaving the rights tied up for a year). Many of the never-before-seens are among my A-list short stories, but for various reasons never found the right niche market, or got dicked around so long, I grew impatient to show them to readers. Thus their inclusion.

“Wrangler,” leading off the bunch, is one of those. Probably the most commercial short I’ve tried to flog in recent years, I only ever sent it to one major publication. They sat on it for a whopping 341 days before saying “no” and, in the process, made me miss out on a lot of other potential venues. Sad considering that, as far as my writing goes, this one is charmingly whimsical. Y’know, in a gallows-humour sort of way.

I’ve had an uneven year, where some publishers have come through as solid and reliable, with quality products and occasionally even fair pay rates (so rare in proseland). Others—particularly some of the more major players—have made me wonder where all the professionals have gone. I expect I’ll want to bitch about this further in an upcoming blog post, so stay tuned for some bridge-burning anecdotes about the writing/publishing business. For now, though, this should be a day of celebration. A twenty-story collection is nothing to toss off without some fanfare.

I think the most surprising thing about this single-author collection—to me at least—is how much more is yet to be collected. I could have kept going, but decided to hold off on a bunch of stories for a variety of reasons. Some are still under contract and awaiting publication. The Sherlock Holmes material will one day be assembled in its own book. And then there are others that fall into the realm of science fiction and the supernatural, which wasn’t a good thematic fit with the rest of what’s in Raw and Other Stories.

All the stories in Raw are grounded in some semblance of reality, even at their most horrific. A few spin off into the realm of outlandish satire, but are at least based on real events—semi-autobiographical in cases. It’s dark stuff, to be sure, but always delivered with a wink. Picture a nihilist who makes a living as a stand-up comic. That’s pretty much my writing career.

Aside from the Amazon preview page (yet to be generated as of this writing) which will give you a look at most of “Wrangler,” you can get another preview of the collection over at Out of the Gutter Online. As of this very same day, they’re hosting my flash-fiction story, “It’s All on You.”

And if that doesn’t sell you, maybe a limited-time offer will seal the deal. Raw and Other Stories will be available on Kindle at only $0.99 for the next two weeks, right up until the final nominations for the 2016 Bram Stoker Awards are announced. After that, regardless of whether the news is good or bad, it will get bumped up to a more regular eBook price. A paperback edition is pending, if physical is still your thing.