White Dudes In Black Masks

Calgary just had its annual white pride parade. If you’re not familiar with Alberta in general or Calgary specifically, they’re like our little slice of the south, tucked up in a barren stretch of the north that is so cold the people there go crazy over the winter and emerge from their cabins in the spring whistling Dixie and looking to blame black people for the defeat of Confederate forces in the Yankie war of aggression. Luckily, they never find any because there are no black people in Alberta. They’re too clever to move there.

Aside from oil and racists, Alberta also produces its fair share of hockey players so the rest of us won’t forget they’re Canadian. This year the racists – oops, I’m sorry, RACIALISTS — are protesting that parliament is too anti-white.

Really?

Have you seen parliament lately? I have, and I had to wear sunglasses to shelter my eyes from the light reflecting off of so many miles of Caucasian flesh.

Anyway, I wish the best of luck to the white-pride folks and hope that one day they’ll be proud enough of their skin colour to take their masks off.

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As far as I’m concerned, Bill Hader is one of the most awesome cast members Saturday Night Live has ever had. I always figured he was a big movie buff considering his string of black-and-white Vincent Price skits about the long-suffering Mr. Price trying to host a creepy talk show in the early ‘60s despite the disruptions of period celebrities (who behave just as poorly as our contemporary celebrities).

Hader has earned new movie-geek street cred by writing a top-ten list for the Criterion Collection. Added points go to him for cheating and making his choices double features so he could bump the list up to a top twenty. And they’re all smart choices. Sure, Criterion specializes in art house films, so it’s hard to look like a dumbass picking anything from of their collection. But there are still a few landmines of shit to be sidestepped (some Michael Bay, a Kevin Smith).

Bill Hader currently has a role in Paul alongside the likes of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. And speaking of those guys, I quite enjoyed this clip of them recreating one of the great homoerotic tension scenes from Star Wars.

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